“You want to do what…?” When I usually react in such a manner, it’s not a great sign. It means I am already leaning towards no. I am giving the person a chance to explain his or her position, but am already predisposed to saying no.
Kian was on the dinner table and my wife was feeding him a mash of something (we had started to move him to solids and mashed combinations were the way to go, apparently). So one day it was chicken and potatoes, on another, it would be daal, on a third, it would be spinach and meat… or something else. You get the picture. So, in the midst of one of his mashed meals, my wife tells me that we are now going to try this thing called ‘baby led weaning’ with Kian.
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It wasn’t the first time I had heard of it, but I never thought we would do it with Kian (we had talked about it, but I wasn’t entirely convinced and said I would think about it). It seemed like the benefits of it were that he would learn to try different foods for himself, learn to chew and swallow, and also develop his hand-eye coordination. All positive, right? But then, the flip side is the mess he would make in trying to pick his food up and feed himself, the wastage and worst of all for me was the danger of choking on the food (he’s a kid after all; how on earth is he going to be able to judge what he can and can’t swallow). Now, when I am not entirely convinced about something, I will (like most other people I think – hope?), focus on the negatives.
“But he’s going to choke himself! Did you see the mess those other kids made… there seemed to be more food on the floor than in their mouths!” I was trying to find any and all reasons why we shouldn’t do it; grasping at straws if you may.
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On the other hand, you could tell my wife had made up my mind that we would be trying it and that it is something that would be beneficial for Kian’s development. She was pulling all the right strings and making all the right arguments to make sure I was on board. “He’ll learn to eat better and will develop a broad palette and taste”. “We’ll always be around to make sure he won’t choke. And even if he does, it’s good for him; he’ll learn to control his bites, chewing and swallowing”. “Best of all, he will learn to pick up things faster that’s good for his hands and other motor skills”.
“Fine, let’s give it a shot”, I said (with all the enthusiasm I could muster for this. I just couldn’t bear the thought of watching him choke on a piece of cheese, meat or veggie, whatever it is that we were going to be putting in front of him. I was going to be ready with my car keys to drive him to the hospital at a moment’s notice if the need arose. I even read up about delivering CPR and the Heimlich manoeuvre.
And then it happened. The good, the bad and the ugly all at once. Kian sat there at the table, mommy put a piece of cheese in front of him, he struggled, struggled, struggled, picked up the piece (wow! Incredible!), put it in his mouth, chewed a bit, swallowed, and choke!
OH NO! THIS IS IT! HOW CAN WE LET THIS HAPPEN? I TOLD YOU WE SHOULDN’T DO THIS, THIS WAS A BAD IDEA!
I was not being supportive at all! Way to go, dad! Way to be encouraging towards mom and Kian!
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But then, as quickly as Kian choked, he just as quickly figured out a way and spat out the piece that was stuck! Amazing! Such a small kid who was learning how to eat, already knew how to take care of himself! Nature’s survival skills were definitely alive and well. He had figured out for himself what he needed to do and had done it, that wouldn’t be the first time he choked. He would do it again and again, but gradually he got the hang of it and figured out a way to manage his bite sizes. As we sat and watched his development, he also got better in other aspects including, picking his food (he got quicker at it), putting it in his mouth and chewing. He was now feeding himself and yay, we were free (or so we hoped). Baby led weaning and Mommy-1 vs. Dad-0!
I guess, sceptical at first, I was now revelling in and proudly boasting about my son’s progress and achievements. No small credit for it goes to my wife who was persistent with it and ensured she got me on board too. I guess sometimes, even your best intentions can be wrong so, to all you doubting dads out there, sometimes (yes, sometimes), mommy knows best! Don’t knock it till you have tried it at least once!
Image courtesy: youtube.com
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from Kids Stop Press
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